Parents Or Friends First?

Log into Facebook and you see a screen inundated with status updates from your friends. They share their daily experiences with you and the rest of their buddies. Facebook has become a comfortable venue for us to air our grievances or lightheartedness among our peers. We know that someone is there when we are down and that he or she may drop an uplifting message to keep our spirits high. Moreover, we also know that someone is there when we are joyful and that he or she may join in and celebrate the happiness with a joke or two.

As the process of 'emotional amalgamation' continue to grow among our friends online, I believe that we may be less attached to our parents in the future. When we share our miseries with our peers online, we know and expect that they will be there to support us in overcoming the difficult period of our lives (such as relationship breakups and failures in examinations). After all, they are of the same age as us and are most likely to have the same set of thinking as us. This cannot be said in the case of our parents who may decide to hold a tongue-lashing exercise with us instead.

Let me provide you with a simple example - the dreaded relationship breakup. We usually share our relationship problems with our closest friends. In Facebook for example, the shattered love is even made evident when friends change their relationship status from being 'engaged' to 'single'. What follows next are usually consoling comments by concerned peers. By contrast, in most cases, we do not usually inform our parents when love cracks start to emerge. Somehow we feel awkward or nervous when we try to do so.

I am not sure if we teenagers are not drifting away from our parents. However, I am pretty confident that we are developing 'new families' with our friends. We are spending more time with them than our parents. We reveal the ups and downs of our lives to our buddies more often than we do to our parents. Our friends have metaphorically become like another family for us.

Technology plays a crucial role in the structuring of the 'new families'. In fact, it accelerates the whole process. Technology is evolving so fast that our parents are struggling to keep up with it. Mobile phones are turning obsolete and new communication gadgets and utilities are entering the market such as iPhones, social networking websites and many more. The digital divide between teenagers and their parents is the essential component that helps sew a stronger bond among their peers while having an opposite impact on the connection with their parents.

When teenagers start believing that their friends are taking over the roles as their parents, society will change. In the future, teenagers may no longer learn about the birds and the bees from their parents. Instead, they seek for knowledge from their friends. Teenagers may no longer share their problems with their parents. Instead, they rest their shoulders on their friends. Teenagers no longer spend their leisure time with their parents. Instead, they prefer organizing outings with their buddies.

I always believe that our parents are the ones that keep us back on the right track when we are lost in life. When we are drowning with all the hardships in life, they are the first ones to rescue us and bring us back ashore. If the connection between teenagers and their parents is weakened, then we teenagers will be left alone when trouble arises. We are now left to make our own decisions alone. Join the wrong group, and our future may be in jeopardy.

This may be the cause of all the social problems teenagers are facing now. Abortions rates and teenage pregnancies have doubled over the years. Sometimes we wonder if our friends really know what they are talking about when they offer us advice or if they are merely pretending to know everything. When teenagers hide the truth from their parents, they are sending a wrong message to them. Parents may be misled to believe that their children are enjoying their lives and as a result be more willing to pay more attention to other areas of their lives, such as work.

Can you see the whole picture now?

In conclusion, the reality now is that teenagers are sharing their roller-coaster lives with their friends more often and readily as compared to with their parents. They are more easily influenced by their peers now than ever. Moreover, parents are also granting too much freedom to their children as they are given a false impression of the real state of the children's lives. In short, the connection between both parties is waning and this may be why there is a rise in the number of social problems among teenagers.

In a family, arguments may strain the thread that holds us together but it will never break it. However, in a friendship, a simple misunderstanding can snap the thread that has kept us together for many years, in just a split second.


andrewtwf said...


Anonymous said...

Yes parents comes first

Linux-boy said...


it's only me, myself and all about myself.

Who needs friends? the PC is still the best friend: play games when you are down, accompanying you 24/7 when you need to chiong that assignment.

hanjie said...

linux-boy u r a loner, have no fren n no life. i feel sad for u.

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